A Burn’s Day Appeal: Save the Wild Haggis


A rare, threatened wild Haggis (Haggis Scotus) uses its powerful sense of smell to hunt drams, and evade club-wielding Haggis-thumpers.

Happy Burn’s Day!  While we at the Mercantile endorse all celebrations of a literary nature, we suggest that when you purchase your haggis, that you choose wisely.  While many claim that wild haggis (Haggis Scoticus) is superior in flavor the domesticated variety, the enlightened consumer ought to know that, due to hunting, habitat-loss, and predation by the hagglis’s only known enemy, the Hedgehog, populations are in decline.  Free range Haggis, is, to wild Haggis as  “Chilean Sea Bass” is to Patagonia Toothfish.  Burns, we’re confident, would approve, given his sensitive nature, and new revelations about the poet.

-Ed Scripsi

Published in: on January 25, 2013 at 1:00 pm  Comments (3)  
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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Let’s not forget about Saint Dwynwen who shares Burn’s Day:

  2. This proves a suspicion I’ve always had: that Wales is actually the
    “West Virginia” of the British Isles.

  3. I believe the clockwise haggisses are also considered superior to the counterclockwise, being less stringy, given the animals’ northern hemisphere habitat

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