Despite the decline of beer culture in Germany, it continues to do well here in “Over-the-Rhine”, and it’s time once again for the city’s lesser malt-beverage-oriented fest: Bockfest. We recommend this festival and its attendant parade, and offer this modest guide to maximize your enjoyment.
-Goats, much-maligned throughout the ages as symbols of Pagan debauchery, etc., are actually quite nice and are far more environmentally friendly than, say, lawnmowers. That being said, they have indiscriminate, voracious appetites, especially when they’ve been drinking.
-It’s easy to miss the parade… but Cincinnati’s most venerable watering hole, Arnold’s, where the parade kicks off, gets pretty crazy. We recommend obtaining a cassock, taking a quick vow, then falling in with the monks behind the “Trojan Goat”/rolling keg.
–Bungs from beer kegs are projectiles and, as such, ought to be considered with caution using only one eye.
-If it looks like you’ve actually walked into a frat party, never fear. They’re not “Greeks” but developers, intoxicated by the Brewery District’s halcyon future.
-When Tarbell waves some sort of magic wand and says a few words, the parade is over, but there’s still a weekend of fun to be had.
-If you thought you just saw Woody Guthrie, you didn’t… It’s Jake Speed come to serenade his old friend Schtnitzel the goat.