The Mercantile’s Literary Guide to Oktoberfest

faust_beer_smThe Gemuetlichkeit games have begun, time for Weiner Dogs and steinhoisting bierfraus to dart across the square, and time for our annual guide to that least literary of festivals: the sweaty, gluttunous fray we call Oktoberfest.

-When Polka-ing, it’s best to stick to the traditional 2-step. Four,  three steps and one steps are frowned upon in today’s Polka circles.

-Don’t even think about taking a nap on P&G’s lawn.  I can’t tell you why, and will say nothing more than unless you like the sensation of a powerful laser scorching the seat of your lederhosen, keep off the grass.

-Reading: most Oktoberfest goers will ignore you, even if you are silly enough to attempt to read anything other than the names of beers and the ingredients in sauerbraten.  Certain tomes are, however, will be noticed and frowned upon, i.e. The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, The New Moosewood Cookbook, and The Youth’s Temperance Book.  Best to cover these books in some more innocuous item–we recommend a newspaper and recommend that you don’t read items bearing Mercantile Book covers at the event.

-As Amish mensch say: “The blacker the beer, for God increaseth thy fear”, whatever that means.

-Weiner dogs are cute, it’s true, but beer, contrary to what you may have heard, is not good for them.

-Ed Scripsi

Published in: on September 18, 2009 at 7:30 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. It’s Wiener dogs that go with lager. Weiner dogs are the ones that complain all the time.

    And the laser on the lederhosen? P&G has always been about branding.

  2. “P&G has always been about branding.”
    ZLOL !

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