In all the excitement about National Bike Month, now fading from the scene, we failed to make an important point, which is that when you ride your bike to the city’s pleasantest library, you will be faced with the decision of what to do with it while you are upstairs nattering with the city’s pleasantest librarians. You could chain it to what is still the only historic marker in Cincinnati, just across the sidewalk from the revolving door here at 414, but in so doing you may find yourself at war with the annoying flapping restaurant sign that gets dragged out every day to attack the paint job on the historic marker, and if you are an unflappable member, this will not be a problem. If, however, you would rather not chain your Huffy to anything, you are not only permitted, you are encouraged to bring that Huffy up to the lobby where it will be safe as houses and serve as a reminder to fellow members that bicycling to the old Mercantile is about as virtuous as it is possible to be in an age of vanishing glaciers and conspicuous polar bears.

You may also bring your dog if your dog is fully housebroken and well behaved. This policy puts the Library in a class by itself. No other city Library allows dogs unless they are on conspicuous duty. But this is a pleasure based institution and your dog need not be a working breed. Barking is, of course, cause for ejection. Now, in the matter of imaginary friends, who are, if not encouraged, certainly accepted at other libraries, we must note that the usual rules apply. Your imaginary friend may come up once and visit to see if he likes the place, but after that either you or he will have to purchase a membership.

-Nemo Wolfe

Published in: on May 29, 2008 at 11:35 am  Leave a Comment  

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