Something terrifying has happened to me. Due to circumstances way, way, WAY too complicated to discuss here, I will soon be forced to read “Against the Day,” Thomas Pynchon’s latest. The humanity! I’ve been wracking my brain to figure a way out of this, but a suitable solution has yet to present itself. Like I said, these are some exceedingly complicated circumstances, far beyond the book group or freelance review scenario usually associated with involuntary reading.
I’m scared because at one point, many years ago, I looked at every word on every page of “Gravity’s Rainbow” (I hesitate to say I actually “read” it). During these dark months friends would often find me quivering on the floor, a thin line of drool connecting my gaping mouth and my place in the still open tome, reduced to nothing more then a sobbing mass of failed literary pretension.
Well, if I have to do it, I might as well make the best of it. Tease your brain, IF YOU DARE, by answering this question:
What should I do to prepare for this massive undertaking?
A. Read anything that anyone has ever written anywhere to make sure I don’t miss a reference
B. Wear one of those hernia belts and lift with my legs any time I pick this monster up
C. Determine the perfect angle to arch my eyebrows judgmentally every time a lesser author comes up in conversation
D. Fake my death, take on a false identity, and hit the underground
-Norm De Plume
You can find more Friday Brain Teasers HERE.